A Tree With Leaves

The woods behind the house now has hundreds of interesting trees with a variety of leaf shapes and colors. For months this winter I saw only bare trunks and branches that basically looked the same, so I looked right past them to the hill beyond.

People are like trees, and what makes people interesting are their differences, their peculiarities, their way of talking and thinking, the way they stir their coffee when they’re perplexed, or don’t drink coffee at all. What makes us valuable as friends is sharing how we see situations from a different perspective. Each of us is a unique combination of experiences, history, and influences, and we need to let others see us as we are--the sometimes sad or angry, the excited and funny, the creative. People want to know our emotions. I learned this lesson the hard way through grief. If people like us, they will be willing to put up with our negative aspects because they want us to be authentic. If they don’t like us, then they’ll leave us alone and we won’t have to worry about pleasing them.

Pleasing others. This is one of my hang-ups. I want people to like me. I also want people to know who I am. And while I think that we all have a responsibility to help others when we can, I don’t think that we have any obligation to be pleasant when we’re pissed. I want to be a real person with emotions, dreams, and skills. I don’t want to be the bare tree in a forest that no one sees.